I recently read this mildly amusing post
about a teen swimming movie idea.
Having recently lost my gig as a movie/tv critic, I'm itching to review something, albeit a mythical project.
Mike Gustafson, the author is pitching this idea of an Animal House
swim team movie. His pitch sounds more like revenge of the nerds
Let's look at this. Animal House was completely spastic, with everything going in different directions at once. There was silly stuff, absurd stuff, sarcastic humor, nuanced humor, a celebration of the comedic form really. And it had John Belushi at his sloppiest most animalistic form. A classic insane movie.
Revenge of the Nerds wasn't bad, but it was a lightweight 80s jiggle comedy. It had the outcast frat element, the using black people as comedic relief element, and the triumph of the underdog element, but it all had a rather cheap teen sex flick patina over the whole thing. It just never leapt to the absurd, like Animal House does repeatedly. That in your mind, imagine a teen sports flick where the outcasts were the swim team, in this case two super nerds find they can impress the girls by going out for any sports team, and the swim team is the only that will accept them. Hello? Lambda Lambda Lambda, the disbanded black fraternity that accepted the Nerds? The swim team is supposed to be over the top weird like animal house, but from the description, I kept imaging Booger
Hippy Swim Coach? Ok. Maybe funny. Aaron Piersol cameo portraying said hippy coach? Ok? Can he act? Might be better to milk Phelps, who is much more recognizable, idk.
The ending Gustafson comes up with is totally Disney channel. The real jocks win, but just by a point, and they forfeit their victory for the underdogs. See, the football team isn't really jerks, after all. Not sneering, nasty bad guys like in both Animal House and Revenge of the Nerds.
Hold up, wait a minute! The Disney Channel has already made a swim team movie: The Thirteenth Year.
Did you see that 1999 movie about the kid who discovers he's a merman in his 13th year? Maybe you can catch it on The Disney Channel some time. I can't find it on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon.
Of course, for my money, the best teen swim movie has already been made: Pride
. Click the link, and enjoy one of Bernie Mack's last performances today. Hint: keep your kleenex nearby.